someday you'll find

like, wtf?

I am honestly quite sorry for er, spoiling the news for the team on the yahoogroups. Please don't start talking fuck about it just because I didn't know it's supposed to be kept from everyone. I'm really quite sorry.

But okay right now that's like the last thing on my mind. =\ If it's still on. Guess what. Ben was right. Maybe not so much for him but for me. Today was a mad rush of running around. Not literally but my phone sure was busy. I think I made more calls and smses today than I have for the entire year up till now. Then again, I'm not a very phone person.

But I think God has been very kind to me up till now and there haven't been any major screwups. I want this camp to be great for the CC2s because it was wonderful for me. I even reminded Gerry to bring more tissue cos they would be crying a lot. :) Family camp is good.

Okay so somethings that hit me a bit hard today. Everything was fine as I went (without telling Paul =\) for logistics meeting to help out because Mark has suspected dengue fever (haha I had another indian Mark in my CC1 camp group you know!) and so log team is one person short. Okay so we started unpacking the CC1 leftover logistics and deciding what we needed to buy for CC2 and went to buy it and the whole time I was stuck between Paul and Benjamin (through SMS) trying to send some messages to the rest of the Junior Cats.

Then after everything, at like 10pm, I realised that Paul didn't know anything about briefing at 2:30 and so we had to call everyone again to spread. And so Jo finally did her job and called her half of the people which included Rachel Ooi and then OMG DIE. The bad news came.

Rachel Ooi can't come for the whole of pre-camp tomorrow, including spiritual prep cos of coursework. And she has school on Friday too until 3pm.

3 freaking pm. Skit is at 2pm. She's like one of the 3 main characters. My sister. And we just lost Matthias. So this is how it goes. We have 4 siblings, importance ranking in this order: Rachel, Matthias, Jane, Jo. So after Matthias left (or rather before, cos we sensed something wrong), Jo was sent to take over Matthias' role of yelling at Rach for stealing the bag. And now that Rach is gone, at first they tried to put Timothy to take over Rachel. And for a while I was like ooh yay I get to scream at Timothy (long story).

And then half an hour later Aaron calls to tell me that there won't be any Timothy and I'm just taking over Rachel. Which ain't a very big deal but I don't like to be of any importance. As in that kind of 'if I'm not there there will be a bit of a problem' kind of importance. And I'm scared of screwing up. and I don't like being noticed by a lot of people at once. As in I seriously have very low confidence levels. Yes after 4 years of cathechism I'm still a little afraid of being judged, even though I'm doing something for God. A little afraid but then if I think of it this way (as in for God and all that jazz), maybe I'm not that afraid after all. Yup especially if I have a great family. Rachel Er, Aaron Poon and Jane.

But basically life is good now that I'm back in my room, on my bed and eating mee sua. Dinner at 11pm. Sounds all too familiar. Back in the old cheer days but those are long gone and never to come. In a sense. Eunice are you ignoring me on purpose? :( Hehe. Have you heard about Dr Wong? I'm so screwed. OH YES.

BAD NEWS #1 OF TODAY. I THINK.
Dr Wong can't teach us violin anymore. Like please what the hell this is like trying to tell me that I can't major in music anymore. Or more like "Hi, Jo you will screw up your recital like NOBODY's business because she won't be there to guide you." And the new teacher won't know that I was once free of weird bad habits like tilting my elbow 45 degrees away from pointing at the ground. Which is highly unsightly and I can feel it. Today's studio class was crappy. I'm serious. I'm still lost about Grade 5 aural and I WANT TO DO WELL FOR AT LEAST AURAL AND SIGHT READING COS I WILL FAIL SCALES.

I'm sorry. Too many rants but pray for me for camp yeah? Like when you're saying grace or your bedtime prayer. Haha. Anyone. Oh I'm going to try to make a habit out of my own morning prayer. Wish me luck people.

posted by jallyre @ 1:10 AM