someday you'll find

Saturdays and Sundays

I think I have given up on GE. Lol, I don't feel the drive to level anymore, but I'll give it one last shot tomorrow anyway. Win the Lvl 14 thing. Do more quests. Hit a decent level. And I won't play for the rest of the week in hostel.

It's ironic that the weekend technically hasn't ended yet, and I'm already looking forward to the next weekend. Partly because Saturday's really important. And JC, although like.. I DON'T KNOW? I don't really mind Anthony calling me Blur, but Bryan keeps.. Lol. Anyway they're nice. Everyone. And I finally witnessed Daniel's hairband eating skills. Well, it makes me kinda glad I use such a thick hairband.

And I told Brian Lim I was going for 1130 mass today.. Sorry? Haha I seriously didn't know we were attending 945. Anyway the JCs and formators had lunch together at KFC Thomson. So nostalgic, reminds me of all the so called studying sessions we had. At least I never did. =\

It's the first time in ages I've seen all the formators in one place, though. Anthony, Paul, Daniel, Fabian, Dionne, Cheryl, Bryan, Pearly. And almost everyone was here, except Mark, Jane and Grace Yee? Then Greg and Rach went to Sentosa and Ben went to Velocity for CIP (he's not joining track nats for the rest of JC life because of his stupid injury?) and Ben(edict) and Debbie (omg I can't believe they tried to hint to Cheryl that Debbie and Benedict.. haha. I thought Cheryl might hit the roof.) went for tuition and then most of the rest of us went to catch Transformers? Haha. 2nd row seats, goodness. Not too bad for last minute ticket buying and so many people.

It's like the coolest movie I've seen recently, but the HP trailer does look promising. Although they clearly omitted the James/Sirius gayness. I loved that most about OotP. I love the good guys so much. :( And Michaela is so cool. And the Brit girl? Haha. Bumblebeeeeeee.

"Now it's just you and me, Megatron." ~ Optimus Prime
"No? It's only me." ~ Megatron

AAAH! They're so dorky. Even the bad guys.

"Give me the cube and I'll let you live.. as my pet." ~ Megatron

Hahah, well okay it was fun in general, there was a bit of shopping while waiting for the movie to start. Well, we were out with Lynn after all. She's really amazing, I guess. Well I guess that would be what I call shopping. It's not even a shopping spree thing. Haha. Well, it's different if you have your own bank card after all.

In prep for the weekend I'm going to reaaaally discipline myself this week. Regular sleeping hours so I don't look stoned and sick like I normally do. Ouen yoroshiku. (v)

Eh, new emoji! \(^,^)/ Stupid slashes. haha.

I don't know if I've said this already? I'm so looking forward to the end of the year. I guess everyone is, but this is going to be special. Here's what could possibly and probably be happening.

#1 Chamber concert in er, school auditorium in conjunction with Arts Fest maybe?
#2 Orchestra concert at Yong Siew Toh recital hall
#3 JC retreat to wherever
#4 Jo's 2nd time (omg) going to Australia (I WANT TO SNOWBOARD.. if it's the right season? Haha I really don't know) ON BUDGET?! Cos my Mom is impressed with 30$ tickets with 200$ tax. Yeh, before the GST hike.

I need to get my dates right so nothing clashes. And Vienna trip next year? Mrs Phang said we should perform, so I think there's a high chance we'll be lugging our instruments along. Lol at the cello and double bass. And wtf at Ken Wei and his voice. Haha. I don't want my Jiolin chucked up above the seats. My things always fall (on poor innocent passersby). Okay. Wait. I just typed Jiolin. GOODNESS what am I thinking. I really miss Jiolin but it's mouldy? Somebody tell me what to do please. Or should I bring Jiolin instead of Jaden..

And I realised March/April is indeed a much better time to go. If it's too cold you can't do much. And Jaden might just explode. And Spring is TEH pretteh.

And on the 14th, because its the Altar Servers 25th anniversary. I'll go for 530pm mass. Well it's not exactly because its their anniversary or anything (like it would concern me) but well. I haven't seen Aaron in EONS. And Gareth says Gabriel is a server. Are you kidding me. And there's Paul. And Shaun? AND DARYL? MY SEC ONE DARYL! I think he's a server too! And the random kiddos. And Ignatius Koh and Aaron Chua! Haha, honestly I don't know them very well. WELL OKAY I ADMIT. There's free dinner after mass.

The 14th is Karen's 17th birthday, too. KAREN! Wherever you are, you are missed!

Well anyway, I'll go to clarify certain things. Mou mayowanai, sonna koto itta kara.

This Saturday is my last shot, ne? My one chance to change things to how I want them to be, not how they should be. Zettai akiramenai. Haha as wistful as it sounds, it hasn't got anything to do with studies as usual. But I'll ask myself the same question, how commited can I be?

And to you, because I have a feeling you'll know this is to you:
I don't know if I can do this alone and until now I'm still doubting myself. I don't know what's going on now but I'll find out all these answers on the day itself, yeah? But one thing I know, it's going to be very tough. Although chances are slim I'll still continue hoping that some miracle will happen and that you will be there.
I admit that at one point I considered that option because you would be there, but now, kanarazu, definitely, surely, it's something I truly want. No matter what I hope you'll agree, because it means a lot to me to have your support.
And also because this is really hard to come to terms with: I honestly haven't thought of the future. What will happen when everything comes apart, if I even follow through. Thinking of it this way, I think I understand how you felt then. But because it's something I want, please please please hahaha wish me the best! :) Jo is scared.

Because you're my ichiban shinyuu, you'll definitely know what I'm talking about right? Haha. That's what I've been hoping.


About the RJ boy who died, my condolences to his family but I'm sure he lived his life the best he could have. Honestly, when my parents told me the news in the car I was shellshocked. I almost screamed, cried, yelped, whatever. It could've been Benjamin. It could've been someone I knew and cared for and it would be the 2nd death of a friend in my life. Someone who was so near yet so far because I hadn't taken the extra step to change things.

Well apparently he was Benjamin's running partner and was a Catholic too. I'm sure he was a good Catholic. And a dear son and friend. I'm sure Ben took the extra time to pray for him today, too. So I'm really thankful for their friendship (weird huh, it's none of my business again) and I hope it'll be something Ben treasures for the rest of his life.

Because of this little experience of mine, I think I'll really try to do my best to keep Ben in JC. What I can, anyway. I'm so glad it wasn't you. And although I don't understand much, I think it's good that you don't take part in nationals then. 'Smaller competitions' don't sound too bad either. You wouldn't want to get old injuries acting up when you're old, right. :)


In conclusion, there are so many wonderful and important people in my life. I think I've matured quite a bit in the time I've taken to look back on my own life. If I could redo the 'important things' list in CC1 camp, I'm sure it would be less superficial. And the 'classify your friends' thing in Charles Png's strategic thinking class.

Well, in brief. My school friends, in general. As much as school is a bore, you guys do brighten up school life. Daniel, because he just came online. =\ I don't talk to him much but since forever his random antics and manner of speech have cracked me up. And RB0801/02, for being a good source of random snacks and entertainment. My mentor group, for having journeyed with me while I was still unsure of myself. My old friends, for well being really good friends while we were really good friends - it kinda meant (means?) a lot to me in a warped way. Alex, Gabriel and Jacque because they were more than just classmates. Music kakis, though we're not exceptionally close or anything but I'm glad everyone gets along and share the passion. Jasmine, Benjamin. And the cheer people too, how could I forget. Altron, Theo and Kegan because they're still in my class. Thanks for everything in the past.

My church buddies. I really don't know about the future, and we might not be at the stage to make vows like Fabian and Melissa's bunch to stay together forever, but I think journeying with this bunch of people is the best. Joanne Teo, my very very best.. twin. Well, one of them. Haha. I don't know, it's been more than 4 years for some of them and for the rest, we've gone through enough as well. It's so hard to put anything into words. Thank you, thank you and than you. Karina, my angel. Raymond, my mortal. Jamie and Rachel who were always there, people I felt I could talk to. Julia and Lynn, who really know when to be serious but at other times always lift the atmosphere. Everyone, huh..

And there's this special group of people I want to keep special throughout the ages called.. well. Called Jo's lifesavers. Haha. Kidding. Something like that though. I won't even try to emphasise on how many times Eunice has literally saved my life. Though lately everyone seems to be doing that cos I'm too tired to look out for cars. These are people I want to remember always, everything about. I'll remember the time when out of the blue Maria called, crying about something. I'll remember how I grew up because of Maria, because she listened to me open up about things I never wanted to say. I'll remember how she's someone I can count on always.
And Sam, for being a great support in Sec 2. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you in Sec 1 yeah? Although it's probably nothing important anymore, I'm sorry.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Aah, miraculously Daniel started talking to me. I shall psycho him into watching movies then. Bye! This is an edit post btw, it wasn't so long before, BUT I HAD TO SHARE ABOUT BENJAMIN. I love the guy. :(

Labels: church, movies, rants

posted by jallyre @ 12:57 AM